Remembering My Brother, Howard: A True Story

Back around 1960, when I was only five years old or so, my brother, Howard, joined the Navy. He was fresh out of high school and ready to travel and see the world.

Howard Batchelor - 1960

Me?  I wanted him to stay home.  I hated every time one of my siblings left home.  I missed them so much.

A few months later, Howard got a furlough to come home for the holidays.  He arrived very early in the morning.  I heard him come in the front door, so I quietly got up and went to see him.  We were the only two awake in the house, so we were very quiet.  It was so early that it was still dark outside.

Howard and I went straight to the kitchen in that big old rambling house, and Howard put on a pot of coffee.  Then he made eggs and toast for our breakfast.  

He asked me what I wanted to drink, and I said, "Coffee!"  He laughed and said, "Don't tell Mama," and he actually poured me a cup of coffee.   

This was my very first full cup of coffee.  It was warm and delicious with the milk and sugar Howard added.  He even let me taste his black cup of coffee, and laughed at the face I made.

Howard always made me feel grown up and very loved.  The coffee remained our little secret all these years.  Mama never knew, and the coffee certainly didn't stunt my growth or anything.  It just flavored my childhood with the knowledge that my brother loved me and wanted to please me even if it meant he might get in trouble.  

I watched him cooking and cleaning up the kitchen that morning.  He was so precise.  Everything had to be done just so.  Howard was a perfectionist.  He loved for things to be clean and shiny and perfect.

I've always wanted to be a little more like Howard than I am.

Howard used to spend hours as a teen "spit shining" his shoes to a shine so bright that you could see yourself in it.  His belt buckets were always polished to a sheen.  His clothes always laundered, starched, and ironed.  He was made for the service.  When you'd see him in his Navy dress whites, it would take your breath away.  

Howard Batchelor - Early 1960s

Howard spent many years in the Navy.  He married a lovely girl named Juliette from Londonderry, Northern Ireland in the late 1960s and brought her to live in Gaffney, SC near our hometown.  They stayed there a few decades, then moved back to N. Ireland together in the late 1990s.  

Juliette and Howard Batchelor - 2010

When they lived in Gaffney, SC, we all used to have Sunday lunch together at Mama's house after church. 

Howard and I spent many lazy Sunday afternoons talking about nothing and everything.  He delighted in each of my sons as they were born.  He loved being "Uncle Howard."  

When my world fell apart in 1995 and I moved to Charleston, SC, Howard was there for me.  He always had my back.  He never questioned the truth of anything I ever told him because Howard and I never lied to each other.  Never.

Howard was a devout Christian in deed as well as in word...the BEST kind of Christian. 

After moving back to Derry, N. Ireland, Howard and I talked as often as we could.  I was only able to visit him there once, but I will never forget it.

I will always miss my brothers who have passed.  A sibling takes a piece of your heart with them into the afterlife.  I'll not be whole until we meet again.