Remembering My Great-Aunt Ed

My mother's mother had a sister named Edna, but everyone called her Ed.  She was my Great-Aunt.

Aunt Ed died when I was only two years old, but I have vivid memories of her. I both admired Aunt Ed and was a little afraid of her. 

Aunt Ed lived in the family home-place with her brothers and sisters who either never married or were widowed.  It was like having a whole houseful of grandparents to spoil me.  I absolutely loved it there, of course.

The home-place was way down a dirt road, out in the country, in the middle of hundreds of acres of farmland.  Aunt Ed and her siblings were farmers as were their parents before them.  You could see no neighbors from their home.  It was secluded and wonderful.  Full of good smells and barnyard sounds.  It remains my favorite place on this planet, although it no longer exists.  I've never found a place that could possibly rival the happiness I experienced in that old farmhouse.

We used to visit every Sunday.  I loved those visits.

The house itself was nothing special.  There was no electricity in it for most of the time my family lived there.  The indoor plumbing was not installed until the late 1950s, so you had to use the outhouse out in the yard.  The house never saw a lick of paint in all its many years sitting among the hill country of western North Carolina.  But I'd be lying if I told you it was anything other than special and magical to a little girl like me.

They had a well just off their back porch.  The water you would draw from that well was so clear and cold and delicious.  Even in the dog days of summer the water was like ice.  I'd dip the old metal dipper into the bucket attached to the rope and drink as much as I could hold.  So good I can still close my eyes and taste it.

Aunt Joe, Aunt Ed's sister, was always in the kitchen making wonderful smells come out of the old wood cook stove.  You would NOT believe how good.  They had a smoke house, so they always had meat and they grew wheat, so they always had flour and excellent homemade biscuits.  The cows gave fresh (as in out of the cow that morning) milk, so there was always cream and fresh churned butter that I used to sneak and eat out of the butter dish every chance I got.  It was that good. 

The chickens' eggs were brown and fresh laid and gathered by my Great-Uncle George, another sibling.

Aunt Ed didn't spend much time in the house that I remember.  She was always in the barn taking care of the livestock or milking the cows, or she was in the garden.  Aunt Ed always wore a white old-timey bonnet when she went outside.   The only memories I have of her without her bonnet were her last days when she was lying in her sick bed.  I used to go sit with her and talk to her.  She was lonely laying there all day sick. 

Uncle Byard was in his sick bed in the room too, but they were both so sick that they didn't feel like talking to each other, and the beds were end to end instead of side to side, so they weren't really set up for talking.  Both Aunt Ed and Uncle Byard lit up like a Christmas tree when I arrived though.  They loved me so.  I would save the pennies people gave me at Daddy's store and buy and sneak them hard candy.  I'm not sure they ever felt up to eating it now that I look back on those days, but it pleased them for me to give them something, so I did. 

Those were the sad days.  Both Aunt Ed and Uncle Byard died in July 1957.  Uncle Byard went first.  Then two days later Aunt Ed joined him.  I cried and cried when they were no longer there.  I loved them so.  Everyone said I would not remember them, so I made it a point to think of them every single day so I would never forget them.  I still think of them often, and they've been gone 60 years this year.  They are gone, but as long as I breathe, they will never be forgotten.

Yes.  I remember. 

The worst thing I remember about Aunt Ed was the time she was teaching me how to milk the cow and she got really mad at me for crying. 

You see, I really was only two years old when she passed away.  Just turned two a month before she passed, but I wasn't quite two when she was teaching me to milk.  I remember it well. 

Aunt Ed had a three-legged milking stool that she sat beside  the old gentle cow, and then she sat me on the stool.  I clearly remember that my legs did not reach the floor of the barn.  Then she told me to grab the cow's teat and squeeze as I brought my hand down.  It took both hands, but I did make some milk some out.  I was so proud!!  Then Aunt Ed was distracted by something and stood up leaving me on the stool alone.  The cow switched her tail really hard trying to swat a fly or something and hit me with her tail, which made me lose my balance on that three-legged stool, so I fell off it onto the barn floor, which was dirt and nasty, of course.  I was afraid Mama would whip me for getting so dirty, so I started to cry. 

I guess Aunt Ed was afraid Mama would be mad at her for making me cry, so she fussed at me for crying which hurt my feelings and made me cry even more.

There was a big hoo-ha about the whole thing with a lot of fussing going on in the house when Mama saw me, and I felt responsible and terrible, but I still loved that Aunt Ed taught me how to milk the cow.  She didn't mean for me to fall. 



My milking the cow with Aunt Ed was not as good as the little girl in the above video, but I'm thinking this is more what Aunt Ed imagined would happen. My life never quite works out perfect like this though. 

 Oh well...imperfect lives are more interesting, I think.  I'll tell you more about mine by and by....

Remembering My Aunt Ellen

A few years ago I was at a party at an artist's house.  This artist friend of mine has friends from all walks of life, and I find pretty much all of them very interesting.

This particular party had fellow artists, a preacher, a local TV personality, business people, etc. and one professional psychic.

Yes.  You read that correctly.

This psychic came up to me, introduced herself, and said, "You have a guardian angel."

I replied, "I have many guardian angels."

To that she said, "This one's name is Ellen, and she is always with you."

I said, "I know."

She seemed surprised at my answers, but I was not in the least surprised by her remarks.  My Aunt Ellen would, of course, be watching over me.  I'm sure she watches over all her nieces, nephews, children, and odd neighborhood kids she knew.  Aunt Ellen was like that.

Aunt Ellen was one of Mama's younger sisters.  Every summer my Mama would send me to Aunt Ellen's house to stay for a week.  I'd also usually spend a week at my Aunt Vernie's house and another week at my Aunt Beadie's house and sometimes even a week at Uncle Bob's, but those are other stories.  Today I'm remembering Aunt Ellen.

Aunt Ellen had a husband named Uncle Bud, but his real name was Ellie.  He worked at a service station back when service stations had attendants to pump your gas, wash your windshield, and check your oil, etc.  I was grown before I even heard of anyone pumping their own gas.  It was a different world back then.

Uncle Bud and Aunt Ellen seemed to me like opposites.  

Aunt Ellen loved to talk.  She was very friendly and would tell you all kinds of stories. She never met a stranger.  She would talk loud and laugh often.  

Uncle Bud, on the other hand, was shy and quiet.  He didn't seem to know that many people, but the ones he did know all respected him and valued his opinions.  He was so soft spoken that you needed to be very near him to hear what he said, and since he almost never talked, you'd want to hear because it would probably be something important to know. 

I guess opposites really do attract because those two really loved one another.

Aunt Ellen and Uncle Bud had an older son named Dean, and three children younger than me, Kay, Raymond, and Darryl.  Aunt Ellen's children were always nice to me, and I almost always enjoyed going to her house.

She loved to cook.  Aunt Ellen peeled her tomatoes and did not peel her cucumbers, which I always thought was odd because Mama, her sister, peeled her cucumbers and not her tomatoes.  Aunt Ellen always put salt, pepper, and sugar on her tomato sandwiches.  Mama never put sugar on hers.

I always found it interesting that sisters could cook so differently.

Mama and Aunt Ellen were different in so many ways.  

Mama was tall and thin most of her life except for her 50s and early 60s when she gained nearly 100 pounds, which all promptly disappeared after she retired. 

Aunt Ellen was always a larger woman, whose natural curves would put Dolly Parton to shame.

Both women were extremely attractive in their own ways, but their marriages seemed very different.  For instance...

• Mama and Daddy were never affectionate in public.  They never even kissed in front of us children.  They were very private people in that way.  
•  In contrast, Aunt Ellen and Uncle Bud were very affectionate to one another.  They kissed good-bye and said, "I love you," right in front of us!

I LOVED that Aunt Ellen and Uncle Bud loved each other so much and showed it.  I will never forget the night I was spending the night at Aunt Ellen's house when Uncle Bud came home from work hurt. One of his hands was all bandaged up because he had accidentally cut off one of his fingers!  They had re-attached the finger at the hospital and sent him home.  Aunt Ellen was so upset.  I felt sorry for her.  Uncle Bud was hurt very badly, but I remember he comforted Aunt Ellen that night.  He didn't want her to be upset or worry about him.  Such was their relationship.

When Aunt Ellen was in her 50s and just turned 60, she had headaches. She also had breathing and other health problems.  She went to a lot of doctors over those years who told her there was nothing wrong. Then one day her face started to swell.  The whole right side of her face was swollen, so the doctors couldn't ignore her anymore. When they took her seriously enough to do some x-rays, they found the cancer.

Yes.  It turns out she had cancer.  By the time they found it, it was too late.  The doctors gave her three months to live, which was about how long she lasted after the diagnosis.  She was 60 when she passed away in September of 1982.  I miss her so much.

Uncle Bud was lost without Aunt Ellen.  He only lived a few more years.  The grief weighed heavy on him.  He never got over losing her.

The last time I visited the little town where they lived, I rode by their old house.  It hurt my heart to see it after all these years.  It felt so empty without Aunt Ellen and Uncle Bud inside, even though it looked like someone did live there.  The house itself looked like it had shrunk.  Originally it was just a little four room house with a bathroom, but they built onto it when their children grew older and they needed more room.  Even with the addition it looked tiny to me that day. The yard that once seemed so big, was just a little patch of land with a fence around it.  The whole neighborhood looked like it had fallen into disrepair. It made me sad to see it.

I prefer to remember the little house like it was when I was young.  Full of the smell of good food and the love of good people. I like to remember going up to that front door and having it opened by a woman with a quick smile and a big laugh.  She was always glad to see me.  I loved those visits.

Yes.  I do have a guardian angel named Ellen.  The psychic was right.  I also have many other guardian angels.  I love and miss them all, and I'll tell you about them by and by.  Stay tuned.

Aunt Ellen and Uncle Bud in his WWII Uniform

Nuclear Stress Test - Treadmill and Medication - Personal Comparison by a Person With Asthma

Around a decade ago I had my first Nuclear Stress Test.  At that time they opted to have me do the treadmill version of the test.  At this point, you should know that I have asthma that is often triggered by exercise or exertion. Yes.  I told them this.

Here's what happened:

• They did a session in the machine that takes pictures of your heart first. No one told me what to expect, and when I asked questions I was told the doctor would answer all my questions after the procedure.
• Then they took me to the room where the treadmill was located.  They told me to just leave my purse in the dressing room near the first machine.
• I told them that I have asthma and if I get overheated by exercising or just being out in the sun too long, I will have an asthma attack.  They said I should be fine and told me not to worry.
• I did start the stress test fine.  Walked as far as that particular doctor said I should for my age, weight, etc., but the techs thought I should keep going to see how much I could do.
• As my breathing became labored, I started sweating profusely, and my asthma attack began.  Pretty soon I could not breathe at all and was coughing and wheezing terribly.
• One of the techs RAN for my rescue inhaler that was in my purse in the dressing room.  
• The other tech RAN for the doctor.
• The tech came back with my purse.  I grabbed my inhaler and used it.
• The other tech came back and said the doctor had left the building and could not be found.
• In the meantime I still could not breathe, so I took a second dose of the albuterol from my inhaler.
• I finally became able to breathe again.  They finished the picture-taking part of the test and I drove the several miles home.  It all took about three hours. 
• The doctor never came back in the building, so I never saw him, and none of my questions were answered.
• The techs never wrote down that I had an asthma attack at all.  No record of it is in my medical records from that cardiologist's office.

I will NEVER go to that cardiologist again. 

Fast forward a decade or so to yesterday.

Yesterday I had another Nuclear Stress Test at a different cardiologist's office.  Wow.  What a difference!  This time I had the medicine version of the test.  No treadmill because I have a sprained and arthritic knee right now.  

Here's what happened:

• The tech took me into a room where the treadmill and a table were both located along with the machine that does all the measurements.  No picture machine at first this time.
• The tech explained the whole procedure to me and answered all my questions.
• The physician's assistant came into the room and administered the medication to open all my veins and speed up my heart.  He stayed in the room the whole time.
• He explained that the medication was a vascular dilator and told me exactly what to expect, but he didn't know that with my veins dilated, I would suddenly be able to feel my feet!! It's been years since I have had normal feeling in my feet due to what they believe is small fiber neuropathy (No. I am NOT diabetic.), but now I'm wondering if it may be a vascular problem.
• When the shortness of breath and asthmatic coughing began, I had my rescue inhaler in my pocket, so I took a dose right away before the asthma attack had a chance to get out of control.
• The physician's assistant did not leave until after my heart had slowed down to normal, and my asthma was under control.  
• After my heart slowed down, the tech took me to another room where the machine was that takes the pictures they needed, and that test was run.
• They made sure I was okay before sending me the few blocks home to do a nebulizer breathing treatment.
• They told me to take it easy the rest of the day, and assured me that I should have my test results sometime next week.

The moral of the story??  All cardiologists are not the same.

If you have a bad experience with one cardiologist, find another cardiologist.  Find one who hires good, honest, and caring people.  Find one who is good, honest, and caring him or herself.  Worrying about a heart problem is bad enough without having to also worry about your cardiologist.  

I will say that some people have told me they had no trouble with this test at all.  That has not been the case for me, but if you are scheduled to have the test, I hope that is the case for you.

The most useful thing I can tell you is, if you have asthma or COPD or other breathing problems, tell them before your test, and PUT YOUR RESCUE INHALER IN YOUR POCKET!!! 

I wish you well!

The machine that does the picture taking part of the test will look similar to this.  Do not worry.  This part is painless. You just lie on your back and wait for the machine to finish.  Easy.

Women's Heart Attacks

One bright and beautiful June morning in 1956, up in the hill country of western North Carolina, my maternal grandmother woke up not feeling very well at all.

Grandma was living with several sisters and brothers at the time in the house where they were raised.  She told  her sister, "I'm not feeling well this morning.  I'm going to go ahead and get the laundry done so I can lay back down for a little while."

As my grandmother was hanging those damp clothes on the line, she suddenly had a massive heart attack.  They said she was dead before she hit the ground.

She was 61 years old.  The same age I am now.

My grandmother didn't know the signs of a woman's heart attack.  She most likely knew the chest pain and shortness of breath a man experiences, but her heart attack wasn't like that.  She didn't feel well.  She may have been a little nauseous, or she may have been sweating for no reason.  Her neck, jaw, or back may have hurt.  She was overwhelmingly tired, as she told her sister this, but she didn't know that is a sign of a woman's heart attack.

Even if she had known these signs and symptoms, the doctors of the time would have dismissed them.  It has only been in recent years that the medical profession has recognized that women and men have different signs and symptoms before they have a heart attack.

Recently I've been having some health problems and will go through all the heart tests soon.  Hopefully the cardiologist is wrong and there's nothing really wrong with me other than my medicine needs to be adjusted or some other such simple fix, but these problems have got me to thinking that I should do a post about women's heart attacks.

Here are some heart attack signs and symptoms common to both men and women:

1. Chest pain
2. Shortness of breath
3. Stomach pain
4. Unexplained sweating
5. Lightheaded

In addition to the above, here are some more heart attack symptoms common to women:

1. Jaw pain
2. Arm pain (especially the left arm)
3. Discomfort between the shoulder blades
4. Sense of impending doom
5. Unusual fatigue

Please watch the following short video.  It could save your life.



For more information about women's heart attacks and heart disease click HERE.

One of Those Days

It has been one of those days.

This morning I went to a Starbucks near my home and ordered a mochachino.  Instead of receiving a mochachino, I got a frappuccino instead.  By that time I was running late and didn't have time to wait any longer, so I just drank the frappuccino. Admittedly, it was delicious, but I really wanted hot coffee. -sigh-

Then at lunchtime I went to Publix and ordered one lunch of fried chicken, mac and cheese, and veggies, and was given two identical lunches instead. I decided to keep the extra lunch since she fixed it for me because I can eat it tomorrow and not have to cook, but still...there is only one of me.  Why would she think I needed two lunches?

Then, when I went home at lunchtime today to let the dogs out, the surveyor had come. He was to do a regular property survey today, but I thought he'd mark where the subdivision should be. Nope. He didn't, so now I'm worried that I'll have to pay another $550.00 for another survey once the subdivision plat is created. -sigh- I tried to call them to ask, but they leave at 1:00 PM on Fridays, of course.

Then I got stuck in SEWE traffic. -double sigh-

I used to always take the SEWE Friday off so I could go and enjoy the SEWE events.  SEWE stands for Southeastern Wildlife Exposition.  They have it in Charleston every February.  I LOVE going.  They have dock dogs that compete.  There are birds of prey exhibitions.  There are retriever events.  There are fly fishing demonstrations and wildlife shows.  There are chef cooking demonstrations and lots of wildlife related things to buy and MORE, but my favorite thing about SEWE is the wildlife art.

Today there will be a Quick Draw, Speed Sculpt, and Auction.  That is my favorite thing.  Here are some photos from previous Quick Draw, Speed Sculpt and Auctions I've attended.  So much fun and I LOVE watching all the artists make their art!

See?  Awesome!  If you ever get a chance to attend the SEWE events, you don't want to miss this. 

If you are in or near Charleston and you missed today's events, that is okay.  SEWE will be here tomorrow and Sunday too.  For more information and each day's schedule of events: click HERE.

Probably for the best that I didn't go today though.  It really has been one of those days.  I'm actually afraid to do anything else today. It seems everything I touch has gone awry. 

Maybe my luck with change with the tides. I hope.  At any rate, today is FRIDAY, and that is always good.  😉  Wish me good luck that the rest of my weekend will be good too!

Letter to My Sons About Their Grandfather

Dear Sons,

Here are some things that I want you to know about my father.  I'm so sorry you never knew him.  You would have loved him so much, and he would have loved and been so very proud of you.  He died too young.

• Your Grandpa was highly intelligent and very curious about new things, especially new technologies.  He loved learning new things.  
• Your Grandpa was a very religious man and read his Bible every single day.  I can still see him sitting on our front porch in the evening after dinner reading his Bible.  
• Your Grandpa loved telling Bible stories.  Daniel in the lion's den was one of his favorites.  All six of his children knew all the Bible stories well before we were old enough to read.  Your Grandpa was an excellent storyteller!
• Your Grandpa loved to read.  His favorite books were the Zane Grey westerns.  He read them all more than once!
• Your Grandpa owned several businesses over the course of his lifetime.  A restaurant, a furniture store, and a radio/television fix-it and retail store, which is the store he owned when I was little.  He could fix anything electronic to the amazement of most people at the time.
• Your Grandpa LOVED the mountains.  We would often drive up to Grandfather's Mountain or Franklin or other such North Carolina mountain spots to visit family or just to picnic on Sundays after church.  He thought cool clean mountain well water was like candy and always asked for a big glass as soon as we arrived at our destination.
• Your Grandpa was a sharp dresser.  He always wore button-up shirts, slacks, and dress shoes, tied neatly, and shined to a glow.  Everything was ironed and perfect.  His hair, which was black and never turned grey, was always slicked back with  Brylcreem (a little dab'll do ya), and he plucked the grey hair out of his eyebrows.  
• Your Grandpa was always clean and smelled good.
• Your Grandpa had a little bald spot in the back of his head.   He used to comb his hair over it, and if I asked him about it, he'd tell me the wildest tales.  My favorite of his bald spot tales was the one where he told about a crow that landed on his head and pecked the hair out of that spot.  -grin-  (I'm afraid my son, Marcus, is very much like my father.)
• Your Grandpa was a hard worker, and he didn't believe in taking charity.  He also did not believe in life or health insurance.  He called insurance "blood money" and refused to have any part of it, which is how we lost everything to medical bills and funeral expenses when he had to spend months in the hospital before he died (plus the only person working, which was Daddy, missed nearly a year of work due to his heart and lung problems, so there was no money at all), but that is another story.
• Your Grandpa did not believe in women working.  It was okay for them to raise six children.  Do washing with an old wringer washing machine.  Cook and clean and take in sewing for extra money. Do yard work and garden.  Nurse everyone when they were sick, and basically never take a break from sun-up to sun-down every single day of their lives, but it was never okay for them to "work."  (NOTE: Raising children and doing gardening, house and yard work 24/7 is the hardest job in the world.  Unfortunately, if you are not being paid to do it, you have not "worked.")
• Your Grandpa was so very proud of his children and bragged on all of us very often.
• Your Grandpa had a lot of men friends who visited and we would visit them.  
• Your Grandpa loved to gossip!  He would not have called it gossiping, but I'm not sure what else to call it when the men all gathered at the barber shop and traded stories about everyone else in town.  -grin-
• Everyone loved your Grandpa.  He laughed often and made friends at the drop of a hat.  
• Your Grandpa's stores were always open to everyone: black, white, red, yellow, green, orange or purple.  Other businessmen in town, whose businesses were "whites only" back in the 1950s and 60s, used to sometimes complain to my Daddy.  His answer was always the same, "As long as their money is green, I don't care what they look like.  Why, I'd even sell YOU a TV."  They would laugh.  Daddy could get away with most anything because everyone loved him so.  (NOTE: My son, Marcus, is a LOT like my Daddy.)
• Your Grandpa had friends from all walks of life.  Literally.  Daddy used to tell me, "Alice, NOBODY on this Earth is any better than you, and YOU are NO BETTER than anybody else on this Earth.  Remember that.  We all put our pants on one leg at a time."  He lived by those words and treated everyone the same.  Your Grandpa believed in the Golden Rule.
• One of the most important things your Grandpa ever told me was, "Alice, the MOST IMPORTANT thing you will ever own is your name.  Guard it well and keep it clean."  I didn't know what he meant for a long time, but I finally figured it out. 
  
  Your name is how people recognize you.  They associate you, your family, your friends, everything about your life, with your name.  If you hear the name "George Washington," you automatically think, "Leader.  Truthful.  Honest."  If you hear the names, "Bonnie and Clyde," you automatically think, "Criminals.  Murderers. Dishonest."
  
  Isn't that amazing?  I'm betting you never met George Washington nor Bonnie and Clyde, but their names mean something.
  
  YOUR name is like that too.  If you are a good, honest, trustworthy person, then when someone hears your name they will think, "Good, honest, and trustworthy."  If you are a bad person, when someone hears your name, they will think, "Trouble." 
  
  See?  My Daddy was right.  Your name can either open doors for you or have the doors slammed in your face.  Keep your name clean.  Guard it well.
• Your Grandpa also loved telling me, "Alice, if you don't stop making that face, it's going to freeze like that."
  
  I didn't know what he meant for a very long time, but I sure know now.  When you are old, the lines in your face will reflect the faces you made when you were young.  If in youth you laughed all the time, you will have laugh lines in old age.  If in youth you frowned all the time, you will have frown lines in old age. 
  
  Please decide now how you want to look when you are older and adjust your disposition to match the face you want. 
  
  See?  My Daddy was right again.  He was a very wise man.
• Your Grandpa had false teeth!  I never knew him when he had his real teeth. 
• Your Grandpa always peeled his apples before eating them.  He'd see if he could peel the whole thing in one big spiral and often did!
• Your Grandpa LOVED watermelon, he especially loved eating fresh cut watermelon with salt.  
• Your Grandpa always carried a pocket knife, and it was always as sharp as could be.  I remember watching him sharpen his knives using his whet rock.  He sharpened his knife everytime he used it.
• Your Grandpa had a BIG gun collection that he kept locked in a gun cabinet in our living room, which was also kept locked.  When each child turned six years old, Daddy would take us out and teach us about guns.  He would teach us how to shoot and also how to clean and respect a gun.  The respecting was emphasized.  (NOTE: My younger sister never learned this.  She was only four when Daddy died and missed her gun lessons.)
• Your Grandpa would eat anything and especially loved vegetables.  He also loved salt and hated when they made him stop eating it after his first major heart attack in 1957.
• Your Grandpa was a smoker.  He used his shiny silver Zippo lighter to light his cigarettes.  I used to love playing with that lighter and got myself in trouble more than once doing just that.
• Your Grandpa LOVED licorice.  I HATED licorice, so he would send me to the grocery store a few doors up from his store to buy it for him.  He knew I wouldn't eat it on the way back.  Chocolate was never safe around me though.  
• Your Grandpa looked exactly like your Uncle Tom and Uncle Howard.  The best way to describe him is he was neat and clean and proper like your Uncle Howard, full of mischief like your Uncle Tom, with the mind and basic personality of Marcus.  Yes.  That's about as close as I can come to describing my father.  It is a fairly accurate description.
• Your Grandpa had trouble with his feet.  The skin would just peel off his feet for no apparent reason.  It wasn't athlete's foot.  Not read or infected.  The skin just peeled off!  It started after that first heart attack.  Very strange.  (Wow.  I haven't thought about this in years.)
• Your Grandpa LOVED eating liver and onions.
• Your Grandpa was a good cook, but he seldom cooked.  It was always such a treat to see him at the stove or at the fireplace with meat to cook.  YUM!  Daddy's favorite thing to cook in the kitchen was salmon stew.  It was absolutely delicious.  He would use an old white cup to scoop it out of the pot for me.  I can still see him doing that in my mind's eye, so clearly!  Those were the best nights of all.  
• Your Grandpa always cooked "streaked meat" over the fire in the fireplace in the living room on Christmas Eve.  The streaked meat was served in Mama's homemade biscuits, and was the BEST tasting thing I can remember eating when I was little.  (NOTE: Streaked meat is fatback with meat attached to it.  YUM!) 

Streaked Meat

Now I am hungry, so I am going to stop. There are many many many more things about my Daddy, your Grandpa, that I want you to know, so expect me to write more another day. 

This is my gift to you.  I never knew either of my grandfathers, as they both died before I was born, and now there is no one left to tell me tales of them.  I wish my parents or aunts or uncles would have written me a letter like this before they passed away, so I am doing this for you because I love you and want you to know your Grandpa as much as you can.

Love,

Mama

Tobacco and My Daddy

To this day I love the smell of a good pipe tobacco.  Sometimes I'll go in a tobacco shop just to breathe that smell.  It reminds me of my Daddy.

Daddy was a smoker.  No.  Smoker is really not a strong enough word.  Daddy was a chain smoker.  He would light his next cigarette off the one he just finished and continue smoking all day long.  I never really liked the cigarette smell, but later in Daddy's life, when he was just a little younger than I am now and dying from heart and lung disease, he tried (unsuccessfully) to stop smoking cigarettes.  This is when he started smoking his pipe more often. 

Pipe smoke has a totally different aroma from cigarette smoke.  I just love that smell.

I remember sitting on Daddy's lap at night and watching Gunsmoke or Paladin (Have Gun - Will Travel) or Rawhide or some other such show he enjoyed.  I'd lay my head back on his shoulder and breathe in that tobacco smell. Those times are one of the few times I can remember being content as a child.  I loved my Daddy so very much.

Daddy always wore button-up shirts, and although he worked with his hands repairing televisions and radios all day long, Daddy's hands were always clean.  His shoes were always shined and his pants' creases were always crisp.  Every hair in place.  He even cleaned his glasses.  How he managed to maintain such a filthy habit as smoking is beyond me, but I expect he had a genetic predisposition towards the nicotine, since almost my entire family uses tobacco in one form or another. 

Daddy was all about cleanliness.  Even his ash tray always appeared to be clean. 

Daddy used a stand ash tray that had a little button you pushed to make the ashes and cigarette butts fall out of sight.  It was similar to this:

See the little lever? Daddy's ashtray was this same style, but it had a button instead of a lever. It worked the same. If you push the lever or button, there is a little door there that opens and the ashes and butts disappear! 

Daddy kept his ashtray beside the upholstered rocking chair in the den where he loved to sit of an evening.  His pipe would rest on the wide rim waiting for him after his dinner every night.

I'm not sure what reminded me of Daddy and his tobacco today, but it made me smile to remember that smell.  I can't think about it long or the smile turns to horror as the memories of Daddy trying to breathe that spring and summer of 1962 surface.

Let's not think about that today.  Let's remember the rocking chair and Matt Dillon and that lovely pipe tobacco smell.  Let's remember that and be thankful for those memories.  I am truly blessed.

Making Sense of Drugs Like Prednisone and DexPak and Why It Is So Important to Taper Them - Steroids

Recently I fell and sprained my knee which caused a lot of inflammation in my body due to my other health woes.  My doctor prescribed a 10-Day DexPak.  I have to take Prednisone a LOT, but I'd never taken the DexPak before and will NEVER take it again.

Here's what I have learned about these two drugs.  They are NOT the same:

Prednisone

Prednisone works by suppressing the body's immune system. In diseases like asthma, arthritis, lupus, and others, it is invaluable when your system becomes inflamed.  It reduces inflammation (heat, swelling and pain).

When it works it is a miracle drug, and I am very thankful that I can take it.  I just have to be very very very careful to taper it off as directed or it can harm me since I have to take it so often.

Prednisone can make it hard to fight off infections, so if I get a sinus infection or sore throat or something I have to be careful to have that treated right away when taking Prednisone.  If I don't then the infection will run rampant and make me very very sick.

Prednisone comes with a laundry list of side effects.  The worst one for me is I gain around 10 pounds everytime I have to take it.  I've gained over 80 pounds in the past 15 years mainly due to having to take Prednisone...as well as my hypothyroidism, but that is another story.

Many people experience worse side effects on Prednisone than me.  It does also make me bloat, have more trouble than usual sleeping, and tends to make me more angry and aggressive, but some people have a mixture of THESE side effects, which can even include cardiac arrest (heart attack).  This is a serious drug.  Know that before you take it, and please be aware that this drug must be tapered off.  NEVER suddenly stop taking it.  NEVER.

Why You Have to Taper Prednisone

Prednisone is what they call a corticosteroid drug. Corticosteroids mimic your body's natural adrenal gland hormone, cortisol. Prednisone gives a boost to your body's usual adrenal gland hormone levels, thus suppressing the inflammation.

It is important to note that cortisol is also known as "The Stress Hormone."  It influences and/or regulates:

• Blood sugar (glucose) levels
• Fat, protein and carbohydrate metabolism to maintain blood glucose
• Immune responses
• Anti-inflammatory actions
• Blood pressure
• Heart and blood vessel tone and contraction
• Central nervous system activation

See?  Important.  To learn more about cortisol and its functions, click HERE. For an article that explains it better in layperson's terms, click HERE.

If you take Prednisone often, your body will become used to having the higher levels of cortisol and it will get very lazy and stop making its natural hormones.  To prevent this, you MUST taper the Prednisone slowly to give your body time to start its hormone production factory again.  Otherwise you can become dependent on Prednisone and its side effects will increase until you become totally miserable.  Seriously miserable.  

Please take another look at these side effects by clicking: HERE.  You do NOT want this.  ALWAYS taper if you have to take this drug for more than three or so days.  Always. Always. Always.

DexPak 10-Day Taper Pack (Dexamethasone)

DexPak 10-Day Taper Pack is the drug I was recently given that has given me these terrible side effects.  I can take Prednisone, but I will NEVER take DexPak again.  Never.  My side effects from this drug have included:

• severe insomnia
• ravenous insatiable hunger
• anger/aggression
• severe sweating
• shortness of breathe
• bloating and stomach pain
• explosive diarrhea
• vision problems
• acne
• increased urination at night
• acidic feeling throat and mouth
• shaking hands and jittery feeling

All this and I was still afraid to stop taking the medication because of the knowledge I have about why I, personally, ALWAYS must taper steroids due to my having to use them so much and the damage they can cause to my body if I don't taper.

Today is my last day on this drug.  Thank goodness.  I know it will take at least five days to go out of my system and maybe longer, but I hope to start feeling better very soon.

I'll try to explain further.

DexPak (Dexamethasone) like Prednisone is used to treat many conditions. These include adrenal insufficiency, inflammation, allergic reactions, ulcerative colitis, certain cancers and other conditions that do not respond well to Prednisone.

Dexamethasone is a glucocorticoid.  It is NOT Prednisone.  It is in the same family, but much like your sibling, is somewhat the same AND entirely different. Please know that your body may react very differently to these two drugs.

KNOW THIS when your doctor mentions that you might want to try this "other steroid."  It can be used to TREAT some of the same things, but it is NOT the same thing.

DexPak is a glucocorticoid. Glucocorticoids are adrenocortical steroids that can be either naturally occurring or synthetic. They modify the body’s immune responses to fight inflammation by basically messing with your endoctrine glands:  the hypothalamus, the pituitary gland, and the adrenal glands in order to fight inflammation in your body.

These glands control your body's reaction to stress and regulate many body processes, including digestion, the immune system, mood and emotions, sex drive, energy storage, etc. etc. etc.  You do NOT want to mess with these glands for very long.  You NEED these glands to function.

This is a very powerful drug. 

It can certainly help what ails you, but you MUST be very careful to taper it if you have to take steroids of any kind very often.  Seriously.  I can NOT stress this enough.

Why You Have to Taper DexPak

There are three things that can happen if you do NOT taper this type of steroid.

1. secondary adrenal insufficiency (suppression of the HPA axis)
2. steroid withdrawal or deprivation syndrome
3. relapse of the problem you are trying to treat

Yes.  All three things can happen at the same time.

The most feared complication that can happen if you don't taper is secondary adrenal insufficiency. This can be partial or total, and can do serious damage to your adrenal glands, AND the scariest part is:

It is not possible to predict with confidence which patients will be affected even when factors such as dose and duration of corticosteroid therapy are taken into account.

Read that again.

This means, its true prevalence remains unknown.

Some studies have considered it to be fairly infrequent due to the fact that physicians are taught to gradually reduce corticosteroid doses, thereby allowing your adrenal glands to recover their original function.

Thank God for physicians who tell you to taper these drugs.  NEVER suddenly stop taking them.  NEVER.

Now read this statement:

Recent reports have indicated that incorrect withdrawal of corticosteroids from patients who have been on them for prolonged periods is the primary cause of adrenal crises and secondary adrenal insufficiency.

Please read that again.

Symptoms of adrenal insufficiency include: anorexia, nausea, vomiting, abdominal pain, weakness, tiredness, lack of energy, emotional exhaustion, muscle pain, joint pain, weight loss, low blood pressure, sleep-walking, depression, and more.

In severe cases, an acute adrenal crisis may occur (vomiting, diarrhea, fever or hypothermia, acute dehydration, hypo-tension, hypoglycemia, shock and coma), which is a life-threatening situation.

In other words, if you suddenly stop taking oral steroids after taking them repeatedly for 15 years like me, then your body will not automatically produce the steroids you need to be your normal self.  You will not have any steroids in your system, and THAT IS BAD. 

BAD = YOU COULD DIE (in a MOST unpleasant way)

If anyone tells you to NOT TAPER your steroids without knowing your entire medical history, do NOT listen to them. 

GET ANOTHER OPINION FROM SOMEONE WHO IS AN EXPERT ON STEROIDS.

YOU NEED YOUR BODY.  Please education yourself and take care of your body as best you can.   

Research.  Listen.  Learn.  Ask questions.  Ask more questions.  Consult experts up to and including our National Library of Medicine whose databases are online.  Make your own decisions about your health based on educating yourself.  

Do ask your personal physician, but don't always stop there.  Your doctor is human and has not memorized the side effects of every single medication a drug rep slips in front of him/her.  No human has time to do all that research, so make it your mission to inform yourself about your own body, and do find yourself a physician who is caring, with good listening skills, to help you along your path.

This getting old stuff really is NOT for sissies.

I wish  you all well, and I hope you learned a little something from today's post.  Question it.  Always question everything.  Don't just take my word for it either.

One last thing:  This particular medical article is an oldie (2008) but a goodie.  It contains a lot of good information about steroids with citations.  You may want to read it.  If so, click HERE.

Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate

Today I'm still thinking about chocolate, so I decided to share some favorite, easy, and FAST chocolate recipes with you.

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Easy Hershey Chocolate Syrup Cake

Ingredients 

• 1/2 cup (1 stick) butter or margarine , softened
• 1 cup sugar
• 4 eggs
• 1-1/4 cups all-purpose flour
• 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
• 1-1/2 cups (16-oz. can) HERSHEY'S Syrup

Directions

1. Heat oven to 350°F. Grease 13x9x2-inch baking pan.
2. Beat butter, sugar and eggs until thoroughly blended in large bowl. Add flour and baking soda, blending well. Add syrup; mix thoroughly. Spread batter in prepared pan.
3. Bake 35 to 40 minutes or until wooden pick inserted in center of cake comes out clean. Cool completely in pan on wire rack. Frost and garnish as desired. Makes 12 servings.

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Easy No-Bake 3-Minute Chocolate Fudge

Ingredients

• 1 can Sweetened Condensed milk (14 ounces)
• 2 cups (1 12 ounce bag) semi-sweet chocolate chips
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Instructions

1. Butter a square pan and line with parchment paper for easy removal of set fudge. Set aside.
2. In a microwave safe 2 quart bowl, heat chocolate chips and sweetened condensed milk, on high for 1 minute. Remove from microwave. Let sit for 1 minute, then stir to combine. If needed, heat an additional 30 seconds. Stir until chips are completely melted and chocolate is smooth.
3. Stir in vanilla extract. Pour fudge into prepared pan. Let fudge cool completely before cutting into 1 inch squares. (you can place in the refrigerator for 1 hour to speed up the process.)
4. Store in an airtight container. Fudge does not need to be kept refrigerated.

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Easy Chocolate Cookie Recipe
Makes 3 dozen cookies

Ingredients

• 2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
• 3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
• 2 1/4 sticks unsalted butter, at room temperature
• 1 cup granulated sugar
• 1 cup packed brown sugar
• 2 large eggs, at room temperature
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 12 ounces chocolate chunks (about 2 cups)

Instructions

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
   Line two baking sheets with parchment paper or use a silicon baking mat.
2. Whisk the flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, and salt together. Set aside.
3. Cream butter and sugars together until light and fluffy
4. Beat in eggs, one at time, until incorporated. 
5. Mix in vanilla.
6. Add the dry ingredients in thirds, beating until just combined
7. Stir in the chocolate chunks.
8. Drop 1 1/2 tablespoon-mounds onto baking sheets, 2 inches apart
9. Bake the cookies for 9 to 12 minutes or until the cookies have puffed a little and the tops are dry. 
10. Cool on the baking sheet for 5 minutes then transfer to a wire rack to cool completely.

Store the cookies in an airtight container for up to 3 days at room temperature or up to a week in the refrigerator.

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Enjoy!!  (You're welcome!  🤗)

An Older Person's "How to Survive February's Mushiness Guide"

Ah, the dreaded February.  One week until Valentine's Day.  The Valentines.  The questions:

Do you love me?
Will  you be my Valentine?
What did he get you?
What did she get you?
Where are you going for Valentine's Day?

All these questions are well and good if you are in a relationship, but my dogs don't do much for holidays, so I don't have to worry too much about February as a general rule, until I go into a store and am bombarded by reminders that no one will buy me candy.

This has led me to make a list of how to survive all the mushiness of February when you are older and find yourself alone with your children grown and gone:

1. Love yourself.
   Make a list of your good qualities and post it on your fridge to read every single day of February, lest you forget that you are a lovable, important, deserving person.
2. Bake.
   I'm convinced baking is good for the soul. I know it is good for the NOSE!!  Look up your Mama's old brownie or cookie or cake or pie recipe.  Make yourself some "me" time and bake up a storm.  Your house will smell like home.  You can even take some of your baked goods to work or to a neighbor's house or to a friend or family member and bask in the glow of their ooohs...and ahhhs...everybody loves homemade treats!
3. Take a walk in nature.
   If you have dogs, take the dogs for a walk in nature! Or, if not, go alone. Go to a local state or county park and walk, or just walk around your neighborhood or your property.  Being outside in the crisp cool air of February will make you feel better.  Stretch those muscles and listen to nature as she begins to wake up for the spring.  Nature always cheers me up and reminds me that God loves me.
4. Take a relaxing bath!
   Always a good idea to pamper yourself a little.  Go buy some lavender bath salts or some other favorite.  Relax and soak your troubles away.  You deserve it.
5. Watch a favorite movie.
   Movies are always a great escape!  Re-watch your favorite movie with a nice glass of wine or hot chocolate.  If you have movie-loving friends, make it a movie party!  You'll be glad you did. 
6. Curl up on the porch with a blanket and a good book.
   Always a favorite.  Especially if you have a big porch rocker or a great porch swing!  
7. Call your grown children and reminisce.
   If you have grown children, or nieces or nephews or cousins or other family that are like your children, call them and talk about old times.  This always always always cheers me up. 
   I love my sons so very much.  Talking to them makes me know that I may not have accomplished all my childhood dreams in this life, but I did do something even more important.  I raised wonderful children, and I have wonderful grown granddaughters.  I am truly blessed and I am thankful.
8. Buy yourself something new.
   Even a new pair of $1.00 fuzzy socks will cheer you up.  Just getting out of the house and shopping can be fun.  You'll get to see all the new fashions and you may find a bargain you didn't know was there!  
9. Visit that new restaurant near your house.
   Don't be afraid to go out to eat alone.  If you feel uncomfortable going for dinner by yourself, spring for a lunch.  So many people eat lunch alone that you won't feel out of place, and you might even make a new friend!  You never know.  At any rate, you might get to eat some very very very good food that you did NOT have to cook!  Always a plus!
10. Spurge and take a class.
    Take a pottery class.  Take a cooking class.  Take an art class.  Take a dog training class.  Take a writing class.  Take a music class.  Take a Tai Chi class. Or just download the MeetUp app on your phone and look for like-minded people to do something with.  Seriously.  Get out into the world and enjoy your life.  These are your silver years!!!  Enjoy your life while you can.  It spins by so quickly.  Before you know it, February will turn to Spring and Spring to Summer and so on.  Too fast.

Don't waste a minute.  Life is an adventure.  Explore!

That is my advice to you today.  If you do this, you will not have time to worry about all the relationship mushiness that is February.  You'll be too busy having fun just being the marvelous person that is you.  🤗

If all else fails to make you feel better, go to your local SPCA and play with some puppies and/or kittens. It is very hard to be sad when you are getting puppy kisses, and that is just the truth!

A Forgotten Queen and Humanity

Today, once again, I'm reminded that humans are merely large insects in the scheme of things.  Crawling all over this planet eating everything they can, while they can.

Some of us are butterflies and bees.  Pollinating and helping the planet.  Some of us...all too many of us...are termites and roaches and Palmetto bugs.  Hell bent on destroying our planet.

Are we here to take take take until all the Earth's resources are depleted?  Or are we  here to preserve our planet and keep it safe for future generations?  What do you think the Earth will do if we push Mother Nature too far?  Do you think there will be a good end to the human race if we ruin our air and water so a few rich people can get richer?

You can NOT eat money.  If our food and water and air become toxic, we will die.

We will die.

Believe that.

A few years ago, when I was writing my poetry book, Alice's Verse, I wrote this poem.  It is on page 9 of the book:

---

Kings of Men and Wisdom

All Kings of men are but animated dust
Wandering Earth while they may
Conquering what they can

But all their power is like water on a griddle
As are their days
...soon evaporated

True power lives in legend
Twisting on the tongues of children
Whispered around campfires
Shouted in the headphones
...of modern technology

History is only that which is written
Truth can seldom be proven
Wisdom lies in faith....

---

This still rings true to me.

Today I came across an article about Fawzia Faud (1921-2013), Princess of Iran and Queen of Eqypt, at different points in her lifetime.  She was a striking beauty, and she led a very interesting life.  It was a riches to rags to riches to rags kind of life, as she lost pretty much all she held dear several times only to reinvent herself again. 

Her quotes that I read today that have stuck with me are:

“Twice in my life, I lost the crown. Once I was the queen of Iran, and once I was the princess here (Egypt).” She smiled. “It’s all gone now. It doesn’t matter.”

“When you visit the tombs of kings and queens, you see they leave everything behind,” she said, “even the crowns.”

If you'd like to read more of her story, click HERE.  Fascinating.

A Dog's Purpose - The Movie - One Dog Lover's Review

First of all, let me say, if you have not yet read the book, A Dog's Purpose, by W. Bruce Cameron, RUN!!!  DO NOT WALK!!! To your nearest bookstore or library and READ IT NOW, or purchase it by clicking HERE.

You want to read this book.  It is one of my all time favorite books, and those of you who know me personally, know I love to read a LOT, so that is saying something important.  Get a box of tissues and keep them nearby and read the book.  DO NOT STOP READING the book until the very end. 

I am serious.  DO NOT STOP READING.  Sorry.  Didn't mean to shout, but that is important to know because you will want to stop.  You will probably stop several times, but don't.  Just don't.  You will thank me for this later.

That book will make you laugh out loud.  It will make you cry out loud like you've lost your best friend in the world.  You will wail!  You will be elated!  You will be devastated. 

You're going to be so happily exhausted in the end that you will want to go see this movie.

Don't get your hopes up too high.

There is no way that a movie can possibly replicate the emotion of this book.  Know this going into the theater.  Believe it.  It is true.

But it is still a pleasant enough movie.  I may have enjoyed it more if I didn't know how good the book is. 

The dogs in the movie are adorable, and I want them all.  Yes.  I always want all the dogs in the world, but these are particularly fetching, I'd say.  

The human characters didn't seem as developed.  

There's just not enough time in a movie to go through that many scenes with so many characters, and the dogs were the focus, so I felt you really didn't have enough time to get to know the humans, except for the boy.  The boy's character was good, and I admit I cried like a baby when the dog found him in the end.  I'm a sucker for a good dog story, and I would honestly LOVE for all the furry children I've had in this life to find me again.  I miss them all so....

There were some happy scenes with the dogs, and there were some disturbing scenes with the dogs.  In other words, it kinda showed real life a little bit.  A dog's life is not always pleasant even though I do try to make my own dogs' lives very pleasant, I know it is not like that for all dogs, or for all children or for all people or other animals for that matter.  The movie showed some of that.  It made me sad.

It is a good enough movie.  I enjoyed it, but I think I would have enjoyed it just as much on DVD.  I'd recommend you seeing it at some point, but if you only have so much money for movies, then I think this is one to get from Redbox later. 

Just one dog lover's opinion. 

What are your thoughts?  Have you seen it yet???  

Do watch the trailer below.  It is very good!  Enjoy!

Good and Bad Day

Today has been a kind of traumatic day.  Kinda panicky.  Kinda strange.  Here are a few things that have happened so far:

1. My tire pressure light was on in my car when I left for work this morning.
1. I thought it was just because of the temperature change outside.
2. Had the tires checked at lunchtime.
3. One flat rear tire with nail in the sidewall.  Could NOT be repaired.
4. Had to have new tire put on car.
5. Tire was still under warranty.
6. FREE new tire!
7. Took nearly two hours.
8. Luckily I've worked more than two extra hours already this week, so the long lunch to have the tire fixed should be okay.
9. I'm still hungry.
2. Rewarded myself with Starbucks new Smokey Butterscotch Coffee today.
1. Got the 30 Bonus Stars deal!!
2. Burned my tongue
3. Burned my mouth
4. Didn't realize smokey butterscotch coffee would set the whole inside of my head on fire.
5. Just now cooling back down.  -sigh-
6. The Starbucks barista seemed way too happy today. I should have been more suspicious.
3. Forgot to buy gas for my car
1. Luckily I have enough gas to get home...knock on wood...NEVER let me say things like that.
4. The swelling in my sprained knee has gone way down!
1. The swelling in that foot and leg has gone way up from my previous broken foot and previous broken leg, since I'm having to wear the compression knee brace and not able to keep my foot propped up because of work.
5. I saw a woman I know today at lunchtime, but I had my hair pulled back out of my eyes and she did not recognize me for a long time.  Now I'm wondering if I can buy a wig and hide in plain sight.  Hmm....
6. It is FRIDAY!!!
1. Always a happy day.

Happy Groundhog Day!

Punxsutawney Phil Sees Shadow

Predicts Six More Weeks of Winter

Poor Punxsutawney Phil.  They woke him up and hurt his eyes with the sunshine casting his shadow, and he was not finished sleeping.  Then they let thousands of people be photographed individually with His Seer of Seer Rodentness.  

Poor thing.  I hope he's back to napping by the time you read this.

Today, here in Charleston, it is a lovely sunshiny day.  Beautiful and fairly cool in the 60s outside right now, but 95 degrees in my office because there are no working thermostats in this building, but that is another story.

I sincerely can NOT wait to retire where I hope to spend the rest of my entire life in a place with working thermostats, so that I always know what the weather will be INSIDE the building I am in.  That is my hope.  I also hope to spend the rest of my life in buildings where bathrooms are NOT a hike away from my room or office.

Ah...it is a daydreaming kind of day today for sure.

Groundhog Day has been a marker of my life for the past 22 years.  I feel somehow that today releases me from that curse.  I feel lighter somehow and hopeful that my next (and most likely last) 22 years will be more joyful and populated with much happier days.  

That is my wish.  That is my hope.  

Personally, I wouldn't mind seeing at least a few more days of winter this year.  I know we've already had two days of winter here in lovely Charleston, SC, but we used to get at least two weeks of winter.  I'd like that.  I miss seasons most of all.

But my azaleas are already blooming and my grass is greening and all my spring flowers are raising their little heads.  I suspect HOT HOT HOT weather will arrive all too soon here.

I can NOT wait to move, so I can breathe better, see more of my family, and generally be a happier person.  I look forward to the later part of 2017 with anticipation and hope!  

Happy Groundhog's Day everyone!