It was a pleasant evening.
The food was catered and excellent. The wine was plentiful and the company, as always, was good.
They said nice things about me, as is always expected at such occasions, and they gave me gifts, which were greatly appreciated! They spoke about the first time we met or the time we did this or that. As I looked around the room I thought to myself of how I have worked with many of these people daily since 2000, but I have only ever even gone to lunch with one or two of them. One couple who was there came to a party at my house once many years ago. The others? Nada. I've never really socialized with them even though we often say we are going to lunch or whatnot. We never do.
Then I think of the people I worked with back in the mid-to-late 1990s and how we are all still in touch and have socialized on many many occasions and I ask myself why? What qualities do these people have or don't have that make the difference??
I'm thinking the answer lies in my ability to trust them, and has very little to do with their qualities.
I have trust issues, and I am not very good at identifying people who are and are not trustworthy.
Years ago there was a woman who worked with me at my present workplace that I introduced to some of my friends and we all went out to a wine tasting at a local wine and cheese shop after work one day. Then we had dinner at a nearby restaurant after the tasting. The next day before lunch that woman had told everyone on our floor of the building (and maybe even across campus) that I was out on the town drunk the night before, which was a total lie. This woman had as much to drink as I did that night out, and neither of us was drunk by any stretch of the imagination. She was just trying to stir up trouble and perhaps even make me lose my job.
This was when I totally stopped socializing with people from work because I trusted this woman and she betrayed me with a lie.
Trust issues. Well founded, but still paralyzing.
When I retire in a few weeks, I will most likely never see any of these people again. Does that matter? Did their role in my life serve a purpose? I wonder.
People fall in and out of our lives as they should. They people our days with their attitudes and personalities and opinions. Some serve as good examples. Some serve as bad examples. Some seem to have no real meaning at all, but still...there they are. They serve their purpose and move on.
How will they remember me? Who knows? People surprise me all the time. Does it really matter how they remember me? Maybe. One never knows what the future holds. All things seem to be related as far as I can tell, and a ripple you made in 1970 can somehow travel all the way to 2017 and drown you with its force.
Life is like that.
But I will remember a wish from last night. Someone said they hope my retirement years are the best years of my life. I wish that too, and I expect it will prove true.
Life is such an adventure! I can't wait to turn the page and read this next chapter of my life. It promises to bring many drastic changes for sure. Let's hope they all prove wonderful in the end!
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