$50,000 in Credit Card Debt

Don't scoff. It could easily happen to you. Just one major illness can land anyone in this much debt in these United States of America, and none of your "fixes" will work to pay off the debt.

If you have a chronic, very expensive, illness like Lupus or Fibromyalgia or Parkinsons or Diabetes or debilitating arthritis or IBS or Crohn's Disease or any of the hundreds of other chronic illnesses that plague mankind, forget ever getting out of debt unless you have a very rich spouse.

ESPECIALLY if you are single and live alone in a house or apartment way too small for a roommate, you will eventually hit rock bottom with the skyrocketing medical bills.

Sorry to be the one to break the news to you.  Pollyannas who tell you that all you need to do is not go farther in debt, save your money, and pay off your bills are speaking to you from a place of great privilege.  Ignore them.  They know not what they say.

No one with enough money ever gives anyone with less than enough money good advice about how to get out of debt.

The only way out of debt is to make enough money to pay all your bills every month without having to go further in debt. If you are sick and try to work more than one job, the extra doctor bills will cost you more than your extra income, and may also cost you both your jobs or even your life especially if you are already over 60 years old.

If you are sick and try changing jobs to make more money AND you have a pre-existing condition, you could be setting yourself up for MASSIVE medical debt because your new insurance company may refuse to pay for your illness.

Oh...and don't forget the dental bills and the ophthalmologist bills. When you are older, you suddenly need root canals and crowns and such.  Cha-ching!!! 

Because of the medication I have to take that requires special eye tests, my ophthalmologist bills are close to a thousand dollars a year, which I never have so I have to charge it, not counting my glasses, which I have to have to see.  I am not alone in having to pay all these medical bills.

If you are over 60 but not yet 65, there is nothing you can do but pray that you will live long enough for Medicare and hope beyond hope that the present administration in Washington doesn't gut Medicare before you reach the magic 65th birthday...or worse...make you wait until you are 70.  You could die from the stress of the debt by then.

It is not just the doctor bills.  There is also the medicine you have to purchase every month. Even generic medicine can be expensive if you must take several prescriptions every day, but some medicines do not have generics, of course, and those huge prescription bills are not counting the supplements.  Vitamins, calcium, cold medicine, sinus medicine, antihistamines, probiotics, etc. are often the only things keeping you out of the doctor's office yet again.

Now add in the special diet you have to eat because of your illness.

Now add in all the specialist visits, emergency room visits, and perhaps even physical therapy costs.

You can not afford to retire, but you can also not afford to NOT retire because your health will improve when you're not faced with the exhaustion of working 40 to 60 hours a week.

It is a vicious cycle.

Me?  I plan to sell my house and pay down my debt...hopefully to a manageable point.   Then I plan to move to a place that is less expensive than Charleston, SC.  I may end up in a small town, but as long as there is good medical care nearby, I'm okay with that.  MOST places in America are cheaper to live than Charleston, SC.

I am one of the lucky ones.  I have a pension and I will be able to keep my health insurance.  I am blessed.  So very many people are not as fortunate as me. 

People with this much medical debt are helpless when the fridge breaks or the washing machine breaks or the water heater explodes or the roof leaks or the car breaks down or needs new tires or the pets need to go to the vet.  EVERYTHING that happens starts adding to the debt because even if you make a good living, the debt takes over your life and there is nothing you can do about it but go further into it.

You stop socializing except for birthdays or other rare occasions.  You can't afford to buy your family nice Christmas presents anymore.  YOU ARE NOT SPENDING MONEY NEEDLESSLY.  You probably don't have cable or even a home phone.   What you do have is medical debt.

Please hear this plea, American politicians.  FIX THIS. 

The UNITED STATES OF AMERICA is the ONLY first world country on this planet where you can lose your home, your savings, everything you have worked for your entire life, just because you get sick. 

Fix this.  Fix this now. 

Americans, you can help fix this too!  Vote the privileged politicians out of office as soon as possible.  Vote the bought-and-paid-for-by-the-pharmaceutical-companies politicians out of office as soon as possible.

Fix this before it happens to you.

Mark my words.  It can happen to you.

Last Night's Recognition at Our Regular Annual Gathering

Last night my workplace had its normal annual end-of-the-school-year gathering at the Dean's house on James Island.  The difference was this year they did a tribute of sorts for me because I am retiring in ten weeks.

It was a pleasant evening.  

The food was catered and excellent.  The wine was plentiful and the company, as always, was good.  

They said nice things about me, as is always expected at such occasions, and they gave me gifts, which were greatly appreciated!  They spoke about the first time we met or the time we did this or that.  As I looked around the room I thought to myself of how I have worked with many of these people daily since 2000, but I have only ever even gone to lunch with one or two of them.  One couple who was there came to a party at my house once many years ago.  The others?  Nada.  I've never really socialized with them even though we often say we are going to lunch or whatnot.  We never do.

Then I think of the people I worked with back in the mid-to-late 1990s and how we are all still in touch and have socialized on many many occasions and I ask myself why?  What qualities do these people have or don't have that make the difference??

I'm thinking the answer lies in my ability to trust them, and has very little to do with their qualities.

I have trust issues, and I am not very good at identifying people who are and are not trustworthy.

Years ago there was a woman who worked with me at my present workplace that I introduced to some of my friends and we all went out to a wine tasting at a local wine and cheese shop after work one day.  Then we had dinner at a nearby restaurant after the tasting.  The next day before lunch that woman had told everyone on our floor of the building (and maybe even across campus) that I was out on the town drunk the night before, which was a total lie.  This woman had as much to drink as I did that night out, and neither of us was drunk by any stretch of the imagination.  She was just trying to stir up trouble and perhaps even make me lose my job.  

This was when I totally stopped socializing with people from work because I trusted this woman and she betrayed me with a lie.

Trust issues.  Well founded, but still paralyzing.

When I retire in a few weeks, I will most likely never see any of these people again.  Does that matter?  Did their role in my life serve a purpose?  I wonder.

People fall in and out of our lives as they should.  They people our days with their attitudes and personalities and opinions.  Some serve as good examples.  Some serve as bad examples.  Some seem to have no real meaning at all, but still...there they are.  They serve their purpose and move on.

How will they remember me?  Who knows?  People surprise me all the time.  Does it really matter how they remember me?  Maybe.  One never knows what the future holds.  All things seem to be related as far as I can tell, and a ripple you made in 1970 can somehow travel all the way to 2017 and drown you with its force.  

Life is like that.

But I will remember a wish from last night.  Someone said they hope my retirement years are the best years of my life.  I wish that too, and I expect it will prove true.

Life is such an adventure!  I can't wait to turn the page and read this next chapter of my life.  It promises to bring many drastic changes for sure.  Let's hope they all prove wonderful in the end!

Happy Birthday Eric!!

Today is my son, Eric's birthday.  It is difficult to believe that he is already about to begin his last year in his 30s.  Eric is my youngest and will always be my baby no matter how old he gets.  I love him so very much.

Here is my favorite grown-up photo of him. It is seven years old now, which means I need to take some more pictures of him very soon.

Eric is such a handsome man.  

I love this photo of him being "Uncle Eric" with his brother, Dave's daughters.  This photo was taken at the South Carolina State Museum a few years ago now.  We had the BEST time that day.

I also love the older photos of Eric and always think of the following photos on his birthdays.

This is Eric and his two big brothers.  The photo was taken on Eric's first birthday back in the 1970s.  Yikes!  So long ago....

This photo of Eric is so very sweet.  He was two years old when this was taken in 1980.

Here is Eric at three years old.  My little suntanned boy.  Look how mischievous!  I love this photo.  It looks exactly how I remember him at that age.  He was a very happy little boy.  He could swim like a fish at this age and loved spending long afternoons at the beach or in a swimming pool.

Eric was born on the most beautiful spring morning. He arrived with the fullest head of black hair you ever saw. The nurses gave him a bath and parted and combed his hair before bringing him back to me. So precious. 

Eric's hair was very curly until he was about two years old. It just hung in ringlets. So beautiful. I never wanted to cut it, but I eventually did have it cut.  I have some photos of his curly hair somewhere that I need to scan.  I'll have more time to do that once I retire. 

---

Happy Birthday Eric!!  

I hope you have a wonderful day!  

I love you always, 

Mama

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Why do some people die so young?

The past year has taken two of my brothers, a nephew's wife, two dear friends (one by his own hand), and many other friends, acquaintances, famous people, and victims of crime or war or both.  All were different ages.

This has left me to ponder why some people live longer than others, and why some people go so quickly and others linger and suffer.  It makes me wonder and question my own personal beliefs.

So far, this is what I have discovered.  I believe:

• Everyone dies as they should, but some people are more ready to go than others.
• We are put on this Earth to learn lessons.  Some people learn more quickly than others.
• Some people die to teach others lessons, help someone else learn something important, or to save someone else.  Those are the people I admire most.
• We are each on our own path and each of us are working on different lessons or karma. We should never judge others because their path differs from ours.
• Children often die to teach adults lessons or because they are old souls and have learned all they need to know, but children dying is tragic beyond imagination.  I believe adults sometimes go through such grief at the loss of a child that the lesson that child died to teach them is often lost in the sorrow.  Tragic beyond belief.  
• Parents often suffer in dying and fight death to have just a little more time with their families.  It is difficult for the families to watch, but it is equally difficult for the parents to let go.
• We each experience grief in our own unique way.  Grief is a part of dying and is a lesson in itself.
• Time does NOT heal all wounds, but time will dull sorrow enough so that it is lighter to carry most days.
• Life and death are different sides of the same coin.  We are the coin.  The coin does not cease to exist simply because it moves from heads to tails.  The coin's value does not diminish when it flips.
• Life is an adventure.  We are only here in these bodies for a short time.  The adventure does not end when we leave the bodies behind.

I could go on, but I will stop there for now.  This has been weighing on my mind.  I feel strongly that I needed to write it down to help someone else.  I'm not sure who or why, but if it is you, "You're welcome."

My Front Door - Before and After

As most of you know by now, I plan to retire and move closer to family come July 2017, so I am in the process of doing some painting before I put my house on the market to sell. 

This weekend I finished painting my front door.  It was painted "Charleston Green" (aka: black) previously, but I decided to paint it red instead.  Now that it is done, I wish I had done it years ago.  It looks so good and changes the whole mood of the house when you see it from outside.  I just love it!

Here are before and after photos.  As you can see, the door was dirty and faded and in dire need of painting.  I've painted the inside of my house a few times since I purchased the house 12  years ago, but I hadn't painted the front door.

What do you think?  Do you like the red???

I think it is fitting that I finished painting the door red during the Easter season.  Red doors have significance, you know.  The first recorded red doors were written about in the Bible (Exodus 12).  The doors were red because they were covered in lamb's blood for Passover.  After that red doors signified protection, which is a very good thing.  

Here are more beliefs about red doors:

• Protection
• Good Luck
• Mortgage Free (Scottish tradition - sadly NOT true in my case)
• Welcome
• Refuge
• Energy

To read the background behind these beliefs, click HERE.

In Ireland doors are painted red to ward off ghosts and evil spirits.  

The Chinese paint their doors red to invite good luck and happiness into the house.

Church doors are painted red to remind us of how Jesus Christ shed his blood for us and to let us know we are entering a place free from evil.

Me?  I hope all those things are true, but I really just like the color.  I'll enjoy seeing it everyday until I move, and hopefully after I move I'll have a new and beautiful red door to pass through everyday!

How I Met My Friend, Linda

My friend, Linda's birthday is in May and I just got the invite today, which made me think of how Linda and I met.

I'm pretty sure normal people do NOT meet like this.  -grin-

Back in the Fall of 1995 the Internet was new.  AOL was a paid service and there were chat rooms and such where you'd meet people.

No.  That is NOT how we met, but, as it turns out, we both had a friend who lived in Greenville, SC who sent me an electronic photograph with a byline tag at the bottom naming a Film Developing and Photography place in Mt. Pleasant, SC.  

Electronic photos were brand new in 1995 and not everyone had one, but after seeing one, I wanted one, of course.  I'm like that.

So...I went to the Mt. Pleasant photo place, since I lived nearby, to have a picture of my own scanned. 

Back then I was only 40 years old and I looked like this:

When I arrived at the photo place with a photo to scan, a man named Mike waited on me, and we got to talking.  I told him I was new to the area, and he ended up inviting me to lunch.  I figured a free lunch was the right price, so I accepted.  

After lunch Mike asked me if I'd like to watch a movie with him over at Linda's.  I honestly had no clue who Linda was, but I thought...uh...okay...since I wasn't working that afternoon and had nothing better to do.  We stopped by a Blockbuster store and got "Bad News Bears" on VHS and took it to Linda's house.

When we arrived Linda was in her housecoat with her hair all wet and a'snarl.  She was trying to comb through it as best she could.  She was surprised to see us, but she invited us in as Mike was a good friend of hers.  

Linda was married to David back then and they had a little girl named Emily who was in the second or third grade...second, I think.  They were all home.  David and Linda were photographers, so they worked odd hours.

We sat down and started watching the movie.  Mike said we were about halfway through the movie when he realized that Linda and I really didn't know each other.  

-laughing- 

I was thinking, this is the strangest date I've ever had.  Why would a man take me to a strange woman's house to watch a movie with her family???  It just didn't make sense, but I liked the family, so I went along with it even though I thought Mike must be crazy.

Mike thought Linda sent me into his place of work to set him up on a date!!!  -laughing-  I crack up laughing every time I think about this day.  Too funny.  I told him I didn't know Linda, but Mike did not believe me.  -rolling on the floor laughing-

That is how I met Linda 22 years ago come Autumn.  Linda and I have remained good friends all these years.  We used to go sailing together on her husband, David's sailboat every Sunday.  That stopped a few years later when the sailboat became a victim of the divorce, but it sure was fun while it lasted, and I met a lot of people on that sailboat who later became good friends.  I also learned a lot about sailing.  Bonus!

After Linda and David's divorce, Linda and I still remain friends.  We see each other when we can and always enjoy each other's company.  

Emily grew up and became an attorney in the Atlanta area.  

Mike passed away some years ago.  It still makes me sad to think about Mike being gone.  He was a good friend too.

I have more photos from this time in my life, but I will have to find and scan them.  Hopefully after I retire I'll have time to scan all my thousands of photos.  I even have pictures of Mike, David, Linda, and Emily from that time period.  

Those were the days, my friends.  Those were the days.

My Friend, Kathy, Died Today

My friend, Kathy, died today.

Kathy was such a positive person.  Always upbeat.  Always encouraging. Always a teacher. Always a listening ear when you needed a friend.  She was always there for everyone. Hardworking and conscientious.

She was a devoted and loving wife to her husband, Wes, and the mother of five children.  If I looked up "caregiver" in the dictionary and found her picture, I would not be surprised.  

Kathy did not smoke.  She was a Southern Baptist and did not drink alcohol.  She attended church regularly, loved God, prayed every day, and lived a Christian life. She ate right, exercised, and, as a science teacher, took her health seriously.  She always followed her doctors' orders.

Kathy did everything right.

Cancer didn't care.

Cancer is the Devil.

Cancer took her life even though she did everything right.  

Yes.  My friend, Kathy, died today, and my heart is broken.

Cancer doesn't care.

Please pray for a cure.  Please. 

Thinking of Creepy and Wonderful Baby Dolls Today

Back in the late 1990s I used to travel through a little South Carolina town called Branchville, SC on my way to Bamberg or Blackville, SC. 

I always stopped in Branchville to buy ice cream at The Churn walk-up window.  The Churn is a somewhat famous ice cream shop and well worth the time and money to stop.

One day I was traveling with a lady friend and we decided to explore the little main street of the town and we found a doll shop.

DOLL SHOP, 7649 Freedom Road, Branchville, SC. Also known as Jackie's Doll Shop and Dorothy's Porcelain Studio. Handmade collectibles by Jackie Burns. Open by appointment. (803) 274-8127.

This doll shop had lifelike dolls.  I mean seriously creepy and wonderful lifelike and often life-size dolls and porcelain dolls.  After finding the shop we'd often stop by that year on our travels up that way and "visit" the dolls. 

Back then the shop was always open, so it was an easy stop.  If you want to see the dolls now, you'll have to call for an appointment.  Totally worth it.

Some of the dolls had human hair.  They looked so real that I've never forgotten them. They reminded me of the book, Baby Doll, by Marilyn Knight. 

This book is out of print now, but you can find used copies if you look for them.  

The author, Marilyn Knight, is a childhood friend of mine.  I have an original copy of this book somewhere and plan to re-read it after I'm able to retire.  One of the characters in the book is a lifelike baby doll that really freaked me out...much like the lifelike dolls in the Branchville Doll Shop.

Not sure why I'm thinking of baby dolls today, but I thought I would share.  

Find the book.  Read it.  It is good.

Go visit the Doll Shop in Branchville if you ever find yourself in that small South Carolina town.  You will be glad you did.