Love is a Verb

Something I read the other day reminded me of how important love is in our lives, which made me think about the last time someone told me, "I love you," and really meant it.

It was today.  It is always today because I speak with my older sister everyday and she always tells me, "I love you," and she always means it. I know this because she has always been there when I needed her.  She knows love is a verb, an action word.  She doesn't love me for what I can do for her, she loves me for the person I am no matter what I do or say.  She loves me anyway.

My sons always say, "I love you," to me too, and I know they mean it because if I really needed them, I feel that they would be there for me.  They know love is a verb, and they know that their father can remarry a million times, but they will never have a Mama who is not me.  I am the Mama who gave birth to them and raised them.  I am the Mama who has loved them since before their first breaths.  There is no substitute for that kind of love.

My granddaughters love me as best they can.  They have been raised far away from me physically, so they have only ever seen me a few times in their lives.  Still, I believe them when they tell me they love me.  They are my flesh and blood, and that is a powerful thing.

I have many friends who love me.  People who are always concerned for my welfare.  People who want to spend time with me, and time is a precious thing.  Time is life.  Giving time to someone is giving a part of yourself to them, so I know those people love me, at least a little bit.

I have family that I haven't seen in years, but I know they love me. We have history together, them and me.  History and DNA.  They understand me for the most part. Blood is thicker than water, like my Mama always said.

Then I started thinking about who loves me every single day.  You should know that I am a difficult person to love every single day, but I am absolutely loved every single day by my good dogs who are my present family.  A person who has the love of a dog is blessed indeed.  I am double blessed.

Dogs love unconditionally, and they show you they love you unconditionally every single time they are around you.  Dogs know love is a verb.

Now.  Let's talk about my non-existent love-life for a minute.  I've done some soul searching lately to try to figure out why I've chosen to never remarry.  I was married for 22 years, and now I have been divorced for 22 years.  Life would be so much easier if I were married.  My house would have two incomes.  I'd have help carrying things in from the car.  I'd have a confidant, a friend, a lover, at my beck and call.  I know these things, but I also know that I have major trust issues when it comes to men.  They tend to lie to me.  Pretty much constantly, and worse than the lies, they expect me to believe what they are saying when every piece of data available to me tells me they are lying.  I just can't do it anymore. 

Life should never have so much drama in it.  Never.

Love should have trust attached to it.  Always.

More than a few men have said, "I love you," to me in my lifetime, but they were not really using the word "Love" as an action word. They were really saying they loved the way I look or the way I act or the way I cook or whatever.  Most of them never even knew ME, the ME I am inside.  They couldn't tell you my favorite things.  They couldn't tell you the names of people important to me.  It never bothered them when they hurt me or made me cry.  I know this because they kept doing the same things over and over that hurt me and/or made me cry.  If it bothered them they would have not done that more than once.

The men in my life, who were romantic interests, have loved the things I did for them, but they never loved me.  Sad.  I know, but that is the truth of it.

I have known the true love of men in my life though.  My father loved me more than life itself, but he died when I was seven.  All three of my brothers loved me.  They were always there for me if I ever needed them.  They knew all my secrets, my heartaches and joys.  They called me often just to talk, or I'd call them.  We were all so close.  My brothers are all passed away now.  I miss them.  My sons all love me too.  They know the things that are special to me, and they tell me they love me and mean it when we speak. 

Who adds love to your life?  Who SHOWS you love?  Who just says it without ever showing you they mean it?

Something to think about today.